Still on this journey - Nano Particle Technology

I realize it's been a while since I updated this blog.  I don't guess it really matters because it's just a diary to myself, no one reads it.

My last PET scan showed the cancer was still active.  I got the results right before Christmas.  My doctor considers me slightly worse than stable.  I showed improvement in the lung, though it's still there.  T-5 on my spine is now cancer-free, though it's showed up at T-10. The spot on rib 6 grew, but they didn't mention the spot on the breast bone (unless it's connected now, don't know for sure).  My lymph nodes were working harder, and more were affected than the last time.

So, first they tried to put me on two new pills.  One was like Herceptin, which I proved allergic to, and the other one my insurance company wouldn't approve.  My doctor said it was because it works for breast cancer, but is actually approved for a different type of cancer.  They're getting really strict on off label treatments.

So, he wanted to try a new nano particle technology.  It's called Abraxane.  From what I understand, the chemical is more natural, being derived from a plant base, and it's wrapped in a derivative of human blood instead of chemicals and solvents.  It still targets fast growing cells, which can include hair, intestines (causing constipation/diarrhea) and the stomach (causing nausea).  I had my first dose last week.

The day of the treatment, I got really sleepy, though not a sick sleepy.  I just couldn't keep my eyes open and went to bed at 8:30 PM.  The next day I was a bit nauseous but not bad.  The Third day I felt great and now I'm to feeling normal.  I still get tired and can't always cook dinner at night.  My hair hasn't come back yet, so I can't really tell if any more fell out or not.  I only noticed a couple short strands when I washed it last.

They break the dose up into thirds, giving it over 3 weeks, then a week off.  I did notice that I don't get my nightly fever of 99-99.5 degrees every night.  I always associated that with my body fighting the cancer.  Maybe the lymph nodes aren't quite as busy now.  We'll pray.

I'll try to update more often.

Oncology and essential oils

Thought I'd get your attention.  I had my oncology visit.  I told him I had started using essential oils and he totally agrees.  I use the Peppermint oil to stop the pain in my back.  I use cinnamon for inflammation.  At first he got excited and asked if I was seeing someone.  Apparently his wife goes to an aromatherapist.  I told him I was learning myself and he got even more excited.  Then I told him about the homeopathy course I was taking on line.  He got even more excited.  I like having an oncologist that takes a whole picture.

I told him about my ER visit, and the visit to my cardiologist afterwards.  I told him what my cardiologist said when I mentioned the dietary interventions that he wanted to do.  He had said he was going to call him and discuss it with him.  So my oncologist asked what his phone number was and called him with me sitting right there.  The cardiologist agreed that nutrition is very important...way to back peddle.  My onc also told him that I was doing very well.

And speaking of which, my blood labs were perfect for the first time in two years.  Nothing was highlighted as being low or high.  My D3 is coming up, being at 32.5.  My oncologist wants it at 50-60, so I have further to go.

I attribute this all to the natural remedies.  As a list, I'm doing Laetrile (B17), essential oils and an occasional coffee enema.  I think the Laetrile is the biggest factor.

This report came at the most perfect time.  I had a really rough morning.  I guess it was the realization that my anniversary is coming up and it could be my last if I don't kick this.  But, then in swoops the doctor and says, basically, I'm kicking this.

Well Intentioned Family

I feel as if I have a fairly good attitude about my condition.  I know the "facts:" That I have stage IV cancer and may not win this battle; that everything I choose to do/not do will affect my health.  I figure the worst that can happen to me is that I go see Jesus before I had planned. 

What I want to know is why do so many family members feel it's their place to tell me how to treat myself?  My brother in law I've already mentioned.  He's an extreme liberal, one of those that if you're not doing what he's doing, you're stupid.  He "tries" to stay all raw.  I say tries because it's OK when he falls, but not someone else.  He holds people up to a higher standard than even he himself can attain.  He claims that going all raw (vegetarian/vegan) and drinking the green smoothies will cure anything, and yet his blood pressure is out of control.  While I agree that a plant based diet is good, there are times when it doesn't provide all you need.

He is not a Christian, though at one time he claimed to be one.  I say he's not, because I don't know of anyone personally who had a life change in the reverse, meaning they professed to be a Christian, and even felt a call into ministry, and then walked away from it all.  But, that's him.  I feel that according to the Bible, in the New Testament, God allowed us to eat everything.  My brother in law wants to go back to the garden of Eden and only eat fruit and vegetables.  I remember Paul fighting the call to preach to the Gentiles.  At least I think it was Paul, I'm not great at the smaller stories.  God gave him a dream in which all the animals of the world were lowered on a sheet in front of him and he was told to eat.  He refused the first 2 times, because the sheet contained "unclean" animals.  The third time, God told him anything He made is clean to eat.  It was in reference to reaching out to the Gentiles, but I feel it covers diet, too.  So, I'm not vegan.  I do feel I need to increase my intake of fresh vegetables.

Then I have his wife.  She's a really bad asthmatic.  I don't see how eating raw has helped her.  My brother in law at one time told her to stop all her allergy/asthma meds because she didn't need them, she was on a raw diet.  She didn't, because she knew better in her gut.  Not being able to breathe has to be a scary thing.  But, she also gives me advice.  Because SHE is on pro-biotics, I should be, too.  Because SHE makes her own raw, dehydrated cookies/crackers, I should, too.

I'm feeling better.  My cardiologist asked me what I attributed this to, and I really didn't want to tell him the Laetrile, so I said eating better. 

To back up a bit, I was sent to the ER with a spike in Blood Pressure that was never adequately explained.  I followed up with my cardiologist and he put me back on my blood pressure meds.  I really don't want to be on them.  I firmly believe that it's treating a symptom instead of the underlying cause.  I feel that with everything in me.  But, I'll do it because the alternative seems dangerous, too, until I get a handle on the cause.  The cause of blocked arteries is inflammation.  I'm back on my aspirin therapy, which should help with that.  I ordered Essential Oils, which have one for inflammation, so that should help, too.

I'm leaning so much more towards non-conventional medicine.  I think America has been influenced too much by the big drug companies.  I don't understand how a nation can outlaw the sale of raw nuts or Laetrile, when studies show it helps cancer.  Unless there's no money in it for them, and they figure people won't go to the trouble of getting it if it's difficult.

But, my whole point of this blog was to say to others that have an ill loved one:  unless they are doing something obviously destructive, please let them handle their situation themselves.  The best thing you can do is support their decisions, not bully them into your way of thinking.  If it's a thing that they just need to think on, and they decide it's a good thing, they will come around without you mentioning it every single time you speak to them.  If you really want to help, point them towards a doctor that does conventional mixed with non-conventional therapies.  My doctor can't suggest a non-conventional therapy because the AMA would throw a fit.  If it doesn't conform to standard of care (pumping the body full of artificial chemicals in the form of "medicines") they won't approve.  They already try to squash trials on natural remedies.  But, if you discover things on your own, this type of doctor will give an honest opinion of what he thinks of it.  He won't be brainwashed by modern medicine and take their theories as gospel.

Also, I started an on line free course on Homeopathy.  Supposedly they give a certificate, but for a nominal fee.  I don't need a certificate, as it's only for me and my family.  So far, I'm allowed to make my own medical decisions in America.  That may change if Obama gets reelected, but for now I can.  I can treat my family and myself for the ailments we have.  Will I give up totally on the prescribed medicines?  Probably not.  My hope is to be able to cut some out.  My husband is on 3 different blood pressure pills.  I'd like to see him on a low dose of only one.  My son is on gout medicine, I'd like to see that go away.  My other son is on a high dose of ADHD meds, I'd like to see that go away or at least get lowered.  And of course I'd like to see my cancer go away or at least not be life threatening.

First impression of coffee enemas

Well, a couple days ago, I did my first coffee enema.  Frankly, I wasn't impressed.  But I think I know why.

Two things.  I knew my coffee that I drink was too strong, but didn't know how strong, so I just cut it in half.  It may have been too weak.  Second, I had once (8 or 9 years ago) tried to go mostly raw and vegan.  You go through a detox period that isn't all that fun.  That's what I think happened here.  I felt nauseous the rest of the day.  I didn't get jittery or anything.  It didn't do much of anything but clean me out a bit.  I was a bit disappointed because it said to hold it for 12-15 minutes and I was lucky to go 4. 

I'm trying again today, but I'm making it specifically the strength they suggested.  I also think I tried maybe too much.  I measured this time, too.  We'll see how it goes.

I suppose I should have put a gross warning at the head of this article.  It's amazing what one will try when they have stage IV cancer...

Trying a New Therapy

I had my appointment with my oncologist Thursday.  My blood pressure was a bit high, so we got into a discussion on what had me so tense.  I applied for services for my handicapped adult son, only to spend 4 hours to get put on a waiting list.  When I asked how long, the only answer I got was it depends on when we get funding.  I was also told that if asked, I should tell them he qualified under Pervasive Developmental Disorder, and not mention the mental retardation or Down's Syndrome. In order to get paid to not put him in a group home, the waiting list is 9 years.

But, they also changed his diagnosis.  Originally it was PDD-NOS (Not Otherwise Specified).  The psychologist said if someone drug him into court and asked for a diagnosis under oath, he'd say Childhood Disintegration Disorder (CDD).  It's under the PDD diagnosis, but has a later onset than autism and has a lifetime of gains and losses, sometimes with the person losing so much they notice it.  My son just asked me to home school him this summer because he can tell he's lost a lot.

THEN, I get an email that said that the new health care bill wants pre-natal screening to be free, with no co-pay and that they are moving in the direction Europe is already in: pushing abortions for things that don't have a cure, like Down Syndrome.  When I read that, I connected it with the comment from the intake interview, and realized they are already denying services to Down Syndrome adults.

That naturally led to a discussion of Obama and the new health care.  He's against both, to be short about it.

He said that he got into medicine to cure people and now the government is getting in the way.  We talked a bit about big pharma, and he more or less said that he can't suggest holistic therapies in the United States.  He's from Columbia and occasionally goes back.  He said over there, he has seen great results with alternative therapies like coffee enemas.  I told him I'd heard of it, and at least I'm taking the Laetrile.  He said he was glad I was doing that.  I took that as a hint.....research coffee enemas.

So I did.  I took my first one this morning.  To be brief (and you really need to look it up on line, there are numerous different opinions), this is how it goes.  You boil (using filtered or bottled water) 2 cups of water.  Then you add 2 tablespoons of coffee and let it steep for about 5 minutes.  One site suggested using a French press.  That's what we drink all the time, though the recipe is a bit weaker.  I had left over coffee this morning, about a cup, so I added a cup of filtered water to it.  This made it slightly less than body temp.  The idea is to hold it as long as possible.  They suggest 12-15 minutes, but I only lasted about 3.  And it took 3 times to empty the bag instead of 2.

They also suggest you lie on a towel, but I thought, no way, not until I know what it's going to be like.  I'm glad I sat on the toilet.

The theory is that it cleanses and detoxes your liver and gall bladder.  Like I said, I'm not telling anyone to try this until you've researched it for yourself.  I felt a bit nauseous afterwards, and they said that was a possibility since it induces your gall bladder to produce more.  Apparently by the time your stool gets to the end, all the nutrients are gone and it has a tendency to get putrid.  Also your lower colon has more blood vessels that go directly to your liver.  Getting rid of the putrid matter helps free up your liver to get rid of other toxins in your body.  This works in conjunction with conventional therapies.

I'm going to try to do this once a day.  We'll see how it goes.

Putting things off

I hate having my life on hold.  I've been in this battle almost 2 years.  I'd hate to go through my checkbook register and Discover statements to see how much money I've put out.  Plus my husband's situation with passing his one year anniversary of breaking his leg.  It's been rough, but God always provides for what we NEED, just not always what we want.

When we moved into this house in April, 2009, almost 3 and a half years ago, the first thing on our list was to replace the windows.  We had the original windows on this built-in-1972 house.  We paid 2 mortgages for 3 years, 2 months though, and it had to wait.  In May of this year, we knew we were selling the other house, so we went ahead and got windows.  I think we got them in February, because I had a bit of money left over from a family member to make the payments when the house did sell.  As soon as the house sold, and we weren't making 2 mortgages, we bought another vehicle, used.  We had been borrowing his parents van, and it was hard for him to get in and out of it.  We basically live on the same budget, but having the extra money meant that me and my youngest son could get new glasses without adding debt.  Wow, what glasses cost now.  Like I said, God always provides what we NEED.  Getting the new windows reduced our electricity bill by only 20%, but then I realized we're keeping the house about 4 degrees cooler than we did last year.  So I suppose the savings is more in comfort, especially here in Texas.

We have a patio roof that leaks like a sieve.  We can't store anything or have nice furniture because it would get wet.  We have a camp table (the kind that rolls up to fit in a bag) with a glass table top over it and for chairs we have 2 office chairs and 2 director's chairs.  We have a chaise lounge that was left with the house.  I couldn't afford new cushions, so we put a thick piece of foam that I cut down under the original ones.  We also have my bentwood rocker out there (it's a fairly large patio) and a side table in the only dry spot that holds the boom box.  We got a call from the company that did our windows asking if we would like to do another promotional with our patio.

We had him sit down and run the numbers, and he just couldn't get it low enough to be able to afford without putting us back where we were when we were paying 2 mortgages.  We told him the windows were for a reason, to make the house more energy efficient and save money on bills.  It doesn't pay for it, but it allows for a bit more freedom and comfort.  The patio is a WANT thing, not a NEED thing, so we had to walk away.  I'm a bit disappointed, though, because it would cut the temp under the patio by 10-15 degrees.  It would make it bearable to sit out there in the hot Texas summers.  Right now, I sit out there in the morning if it's not 90 degrees yet, but mostly only in the spring and early fall.

Maybe when we're both on the mend.  I budget about $160 a month for medical expenses (not counting over the counter meds) and we usually use it all.  I can't complain about my co-pays or insurance costs.  They're really low, but it took 20 years in the Navy to get it.  Just so you know how good we have it (and not to complain OR make someone else jealous) but I'll lay out for you what we pay.  Realize I know we got it good.  We pay about $540 a year, and then $12 EVERY time we see the doctor or get a regular treatment.  I paid that to get my port flushed, and it was the only thing that got done.  If I bundle everything together (lab, doctor's visit and shots and port flush) it's still $12.  We pay $25 for a same day surgery and $30 for an ER visit.  My husband has therapy twice a week, so that's $96 a month right there.  I see my doctor every month, another $12. My ADHD son sees his doctor every 3 months, so add another $4.  Our meds cost $12 for name brand, $5 for generic.  My son is on 2 name brands meds for ADHD, plus it costs to have the prescription written and mailed to us, another $14. I'm on one name brand, that's another $12. Plus I get a natural remedy for cancer at about $24 a bottle, but the bottle lasts about 33 days.  We'll call it $22. Well, I don't even have to go into my husband's 5 meds, because we're already over the amount I put away. Some of his come mail order, so it's $5 for 3 months.  I added it up and it totals $207.  I'm also on 4,000 mg of D3 and we both take fish oil.  I don't count that in medical, so price doesn't matter.  That comes out of my grocery budget.

That actually makes me feel better.  I don't know how we make it on what I budget.  God is indeed good.  But my point was we can't get a non-leaky patio until some of those bills go away. But after writing this blog, I do feel better about our decision to wait.  Like I said, God takes care of our NEEDS, just not always our WANTS.

Inconsiderate In-laws

Well, now I have to deal with idiot in-laws.  No, not my husband's parents, but his brother.

You see, my brother-in-law is one of those flaming liberals who thinks everyone has to do what he's doing, when he's doing it, or they're idiots.  You have to believe what he believes, eat the way he eats, etc.  And if he changes, you have to change, too, because everyone knows he knows everything.

I had posted a blog on my other site and on Face Book about America and the direction it's taking.  I connected my boldness in speaking out politically to the song, "Live Like You Were Dying."  Why did I do that?  Because it came out the first time I went through this.  I guess maybe I knew I wasn't dying then, and didn't live so I'd have no regrets.  Now, I've decided to speak out about what's wrong with the direction this country is taking.

My brother-in-law is a "vegetarian."  I put that in quotes, because it's OK for him to deviate from this diet, but not me.  He got a hair up his butt one time and wanted me to come to his house to live for a month, and take in nothing but water for a month.  He said it would cleanse everything out of my system, and I'd feel like crap for a while, so he'd work from home and take care of me.  Yea, right.  I have epilepsy and missing a meal can bring on a seizure.  He is firmly convinced that if I eat all raw and green smoothies, I can cure my own cancer.  Wow, he should tell everyone that.  There are a lot of people out there dealing with and dying from cancer.  He could win the Nobel Peace Prize.  Don't laugh, Obama got one.

Here's what he posted on my face book page:  If you really wanted to live like you were dying, get on with it and take your health seriously.  Cure yourself and stop with the pity party.

I don't understand how deciding to fight for my country is having a pity party, but besides that...this is what I answered him:  F U Bro. I'm taking a proactive approach to my health.  I'm eating more veggies, taking Laetrile and refusing to put chemo in my body.  You can take your liberal (EVERYONE has to be like me or they're stupid) crap somewhere else.  Treat your wife better then we'll talk.

He is self-absorbed and doesn't care one whit about his wife.  She made plans for them to attend a fashion show, which he agreed to go to.  She's from Europe and actually designed clothes for a while. She LOVES fashion.  The day of the event, he asked if it was set in stone, because he just agreed to play tennis (which he does A LOT) with a buddy.  So, dump your wife?  I told her to go alone, she doesn't need him, and she did and had a blast.  Life like you were dying.  He has no concept of that idea for someone like me and her who have lived our whole lives making sure someone else is happy first.

I got my power port flushed today, and expected the above incident to have my blood pressure up.  But I was fine, 115/74.  Perfect.  I guess I'm getting better at accepting idiot relatives. 

I do try to eat better.  But I have a life outside of having a wife to fix everything for me.  This is a man who does so little in the house that they had to hire a maid service to come clean their house/condo.  It's just to much for his wife to do by herself when she's so defeating on her efforts.  They both work and she does the "cooking," or I should say meal preparation.  And she finds really great things to do with healthy meals.  She can't have dairy or fish, and is trying to be gluten free.  The only thing he does is make his smoothies that she can't stand to eat either. 

I ALMOST wish cancer on him, just to prove to him that you can't cure it with a good diet.  It does help, but it won't go away.  I still subscribe to the vitamin deficiency theory.  Not many foods have a lot of laetrile naturally, except apricot kernels.  I can't keep buying apricots.  I do eat the seeds of the apples that I eat.  But now I'm driving a kid to and picking him up from school.  And naturally, the store doesn't open for an hour and a half after he has to be there.  I don't have the energy to make 3 trips out.

Well, I guess the best thing is to keep doing what I'm doing, listen to the Holy Spirit and ask for guidance and ignore stupid relatives who think they know it all.

Update:  My brother-in-law answered me on my post and said he'd take me serious when I gave up cheese, as that helps cancer grow.  Is he an idiot or what?  My oncologist (who, as I've said before is very into diet and exercise as weapons in the arsenal) says cancer lives on SUGAR.  He has told me to cut out artificial sweeteners totally, and to only eat sugar in rare incidences.  I live in Texas and I GAVE UP SWEET TEA.  If that's not sacrificing, I don't know what is.  If it was cheese that fed cancer, then they would make me eat cheese before a PET scan.  Do they?  No, they give me a glucose solution that's radiated and then have me drink water with iodine in it.  As to my other friend, I do try to eat as healthy (non-GMO) as possible, but just can't afford to go organic.  Wish I could.