Oncology and essential oils

Thought I'd get your attention.  I had my oncology visit.  I told him I had started using essential oils and he totally agrees.  I use the Peppermint oil to stop the pain in my back.  I use cinnamon for inflammation.  At first he got excited and asked if I was seeing someone.  Apparently his wife goes to an aromatherapist.  I told him I was learning myself and he got even more excited.  Then I told him about the homeopathy course I was taking on line.  He got even more excited.  I like having an oncologist that takes a whole picture.

I told him about my ER visit, and the visit to my cardiologist afterwards.  I told him what my cardiologist said when I mentioned the dietary interventions that he wanted to do.  He had said he was going to call him and discuss it with him.  So my oncologist asked what his phone number was and called him with me sitting right there.  The cardiologist agreed that nutrition is very important...way to back peddle.  My onc also told him that I was doing very well.

And speaking of which, my blood labs were perfect for the first time in two years.  Nothing was highlighted as being low or high.  My D3 is coming up, being at 32.5.  My oncologist wants it at 50-60, so I have further to go.

I attribute this all to the natural remedies.  As a list, I'm doing Laetrile (B17), essential oils and an occasional coffee enema.  I think the Laetrile is the biggest factor.

This report came at the most perfect time.  I had a really rough morning.  I guess it was the realization that my anniversary is coming up and it could be my last if I don't kick this.  But, then in swoops the doctor and says, basically, I'm kicking this.

Well Intentioned Family

I feel as if I have a fairly good attitude about my condition.  I know the "facts:" That I have stage IV cancer and may not win this battle; that everything I choose to do/not do will affect my health.  I figure the worst that can happen to me is that I go see Jesus before I had planned. 

What I want to know is why do so many family members feel it's their place to tell me how to treat myself?  My brother in law I've already mentioned.  He's an extreme liberal, one of those that if you're not doing what he's doing, you're stupid.  He "tries" to stay all raw.  I say tries because it's OK when he falls, but not someone else.  He holds people up to a higher standard than even he himself can attain.  He claims that going all raw (vegetarian/vegan) and drinking the green smoothies will cure anything, and yet his blood pressure is out of control.  While I agree that a plant based diet is good, there are times when it doesn't provide all you need.

He is not a Christian, though at one time he claimed to be one.  I say he's not, because I don't know of anyone personally who had a life change in the reverse, meaning they professed to be a Christian, and even felt a call into ministry, and then walked away from it all.  But, that's him.  I feel that according to the Bible, in the New Testament, God allowed us to eat everything.  My brother in law wants to go back to the garden of Eden and only eat fruit and vegetables.  I remember Paul fighting the call to preach to the Gentiles.  At least I think it was Paul, I'm not great at the smaller stories.  God gave him a dream in which all the animals of the world were lowered on a sheet in front of him and he was told to eat.  He refused the first 2 times, because the sheet contained "unclean" animals.  The third time, God told him anything He made is clean to eat.  It was in reference to reaching out to the Gentiles, but I feel it covers diet, too.  So, I'm not vegan.  I do feel I need to increase my intake of fresh vegetables.

Then I have his wife.  She's a really bad asthmatic.  I don't see how eating raw has helped her.  My brother in law at one time told her to stop all her allergy/asthma meds because she didn't need them, she was on a raw diet.  She didn't, because she knew better in her gut.  Not being able to breathe has to be a scary thing.  But, she also gives me advice.  Because SHE is on pro-biotics, I should be, too.  Because SHE makes her own raw, dehydrated cookies/crackers, I should, too.

I'm feeling better.  My cardiologist asked me what I attributed this to, and I really didn't want to tell him the Laetrile, so I said eating better. 

To back up a bit, I was sent to the ER with a spike in Blood Pressure that was never adequately explained.  I followed up with my cardiologist and he put me back on my blood pressure meds.  I really don't want to be on them.  I firmly believe that it's treating a symptom instead of the underlying cause.  I feel that with everything in me.  But, I'll do it because the alternative seems dangerous, too, until I get a handle on the cause.  The cause of blocked arteries is inflammation.  I'm back on my aspirin therapy, which should help with that.  I ordered Essential Oils, which have one for inflammation, so that should help, too.

I'm leaning so much more towards non-conventional medicine.  I think America has been influenced too much by the big drug companies.  I don't understand how a nation can outlaw the sale of raw nuts or Laetrile, when studies show it helps cancer.  Unless there's no money in it for them, and they figure people won't go to the trouble of getting it if it's difficult.

But, my whole point of this blog was to say to others that have an ill loved one:  unless they are doing something obviously destructive, please let them handle their situation themselves.  The best thing you can do is support their decisions, not bully them into your way of thinking.  If it's a thing that they just need to think on, and they decide it's a good thing, they will come around without you mentioning it every single time you speak to them.  If you really want to help, point them towards a doctor that does conventional mixed with non-conventional therapies.  My doctor can't suggest a non-conventional therapy because the AMA would throw a fit.  If it doesn't conform to standard of care (pumping the body full of artificial chemicals in the form of "medicines") they won't approve.  They already try to squash trials on natural remedies.  But, if you discover things on your own, this type of doctor will give an honest opinion of what he thinks of it.  He won't be brainwashed by modern medicine and take their theories as gospel.

Also, I started an on line free course on Homeopathy.  Supposedly they give a certificate, but for a nominal fee.  I don't need a certificate, as it's only for me and my family.  So far, I'm allowed to make my own medical decisions in America.  That may change if Obama gets reelected, but for now I can.  I can treat my family and myself for the ailments we have.  Will I give up totally on the prescribed medicines?  Probably not.  My hope is to be able to cut some out.  My husband is on 3 different blood pressure pills.  I'd like to see him on a low dose of only one.  My son is on gout medicine, I'd like to see that go away.  My other son is on a high dose of ADHD meds, I'd like to see that go away or at least get lowered.  And of course I'd like to see my cancer go away or at least not be life threatening.

First impression of coffee enemas

Well, a couple days ago, I did my first coffee enema.  Frankly, I wasn't impressed.  But I think I know why.

Two things.  I knew my coffee that I drink was too strong, but didn't know how strong, so I just cut it in half.  It may have been too weak.  Second, I had once (8 or 9 years ago) tried to go mostly raw and vegan.  You go through a detox period that isn't all that fun.  That's what I think happened here.  I felt nauseous the rest of the day.  I didn't get jittery or anything.  It didn't do much of anything but clean me out a bit.  I was a bit disappointed because it said to hold it for 12-15 minutes and I was lucky to go 4. 

I'm trying again today, but I'm making it specifically the strength they suggested.  I also think I tried maybe too much.  I measured this time, too.  We'll see how it goes.

I suppose I should have put a gross warning at the head of this article.  It's amazing what one will try when they have stage IV cancer...

Trying a New Therapy

I had my appointment with my oncologist Thursday.  My blood pressure was a bit high, so we got into a discussion on what had me so tense.  I applied for services for my handicapped adult son, only to spend 4 hours to get put on a waiting list.  When I asked how long, the only answer I got was it depends on when we get funding.  I was also told that if asked, I should tell them he qualified under Pervasive Developmental Disorder, and not mention the mental retardation or Down's Syndrome. In order to get paid to not put him in a group home, the waiting list is 9 years.

But, they also changed his diagnosis.  Originally it was PDD-NOS (Not Otherwise Specified).  The psychologist said if someone drug him into court and asked for a diagnosis under oath, he'd say Childhood Disintegration Disorder (CDD).  It's under the PDD diagnosis, but has a later onset than autism and has a lifetime of gains and losses, sometimes with the person losing so much they notice it.  My son just asked me to home school him this summer because he can tell he's lost a lot.

THEN, I get an email that said that the new health care bill wants pre-natal screening to be free, with no co-pay and that they are moving in the direction Europe is already in: pushing abortions for things that don't have a cure, like Down Syndrome.  When I read that, I connected it with the comment from the intake interview, and realized they are already denying services to Down Syndrome adults.

That naturally led to a discussion of Obama and the new health care.  He's against both, to be short about it.

He said that he got into medicine to cure people and now the government is getting in the way.  We talked a bit about big pharma, and he more or less said that he can't suggest holistic therapies in the United States.  He's from Columbia and occasionally goes back.  He said over there, he has seen great results with alternative therapies like coffee enemas.  I told him I'd heard of it, and at least I'm taking the Laetrile.  He said he was glad I was doing that.  I took that as a hint.....research coffee enemas.

So I did.  I took my first one this morning.  To be brief (and you really need to look it up on line, there are numerous different opinions), this is how it goes.  You boil (using filtered or bottled water) 2 cups of water.  Then you add 2 tablespoons of coffee and let it steep for about 5 minutes.  One site suggested using a French press.  That's what we drink all the time, though the recipe is a bit weaker.  I had left over coffee this morning, about a cup, so I added a cup of filtered water to it.  This made it slightly less than body temp.  The idea is to hold it as long as possible.  They suggest 12-15 minutes, but I only lasted about 3.  And it took 3 times to empty the bag instead of 2.

They also suggest you lie on a towel, but I thought, no way, not until I know what it's going to be like.  I'm glad I sat on the toilet.

The theory is that it cleanses and detoxes your liver and gall bladder.  Like I said, I'm not telling anyone to try this until you've researched it for yourself.  I felt a bit nauseous afterwards, and they said that was a possibility since it induces your gall bladder to produce more.  Apparently by the time your stool gets to the end, all the nutrients are gone and it has a tendency to get putrid.  Also your lower colon has more blood vessels that go directly to your liver.  Getting rid of the putrid matter helps free up your liver to get rid of other toxins in your body.  This works in conjunction with conventional therapies.

I'm going to try to do this once a day.  We'll see how it goes.

Putting things off

I hate having my life on hold.  I've been in this battle almost 2 years.  I'd hate to go through my checkbook register and Discover statements to see how much money I've put out.  Plus my husband's situation with passing his one year anniversary of breaking his leg.  It's been rough, but God always provides for what we NEED, just not always what we want.

When we moved into this house in April, 2009, almost 3 and a half years ago, the first thing on our list was to replace the windows.  We had the original windows on this built-in-1972 house.  We paid 2 mortgages for 3 years, 2 months though, and it had to wait.  In May of this year, we knew we were selling the other house, so we went ahead and got windows.  I think we got them in February, because I had a bit of money left over from a family member to make the payments when the house did sell.  As soon as the house sold, and we weren't making 2 mortgages, we bought another vehicle, used.  We had been borrowing his parents van, and it was hard for him to get in and out of it.  We basically live on the same budget, but having the extra money meant that me and my youngest son could get new glasses without adding debt.  Wow, what glasses cost now.  Like I said, God always provides what we NEED.  Getting the new windows reduced our electricity bill by only 20%, but then I realized we're keeping the house about 4 degrees cooler than we did last year.  So I suppose the savings is more in comfort, especially here in Texas.

We have a patio roof that leaks like a sieve.  We can't store anything or have nice furniture because it would get wet.  We have a camp table (the kind that rolls up to fit in a bag) with a glass table top over it and for chairs we have 2 office chairs and 2 director's chairs.  We have a chaise lounge that was left with the house.  I couldn't afford new cushions, so we put a thick piece of foam that I cut down under the original ones.  We also have my bentwood rocker out there (it's a fairly large patio) and a side table in the only dry spot that holds the boom box.  We got a call from the company that did our windows asking if we would like to do another promotional with our patio.

We had him sit down and run the numbers, and he just couldn't get it low enough to be able to afford without putting us back where we were when we were paying 2 mortgages.  We told him the windows were for a reason, to make the house more energy efficient and save money on bills.  It doesn't pay for it, but it allows for a bit more freedom and comfort.  The patio is a WANT thing, not a NEED thing, so we had to walk away.  I'm a bit disappointed, though, because it would cut the temp under the patio by 10-15 degrees.  It would make it bearable to sit out there in the hot Texas summers.  Right now, I sit out there in the morning if it's not 90 degrees yet, but mostly only in the spring and early fall.

Maybe when we're both on the mend.  I budget about $160 a month for medical expenses (not counting over the counter meds) and we usually use it all.  I can't complain about my co-pays or insurance costs.  They're really low, but it took 20 years in the Navy to get it.  Just so you know how good we have it (and not to complain OR make someone else jealous) but I'll lay out for you what we pay.  Realize I know we got it good.  We pay about $540 a year, and then $12 EVERY time we see the doctor or get a regular treatment.  I paid that to get my port flushed, and it was the only thing that got done.  If I bundle everything together (lab, doctor's visit and shots and port flush) it's still $12.  We pay $25 for a same day surgery and $30 for an ER visit.  My husband has therapy twice a week, so that's $96 a month right there.  I see my doctor every month, another $12. My ADHD son sees his doctor every 3 months, so add another $4.  Our meds cost $12 for name brand, $5 for generic.  My son is on 2 name brands meds for ADHD, plus it costs to have the prescription written and mailed to us, another $14. I'm on one name brand, that's another $12. Plus I get a natural remedy for cancer at about $24 a bottle, but the bottle lasts about 33 days.  We'll call it $22. Well, I don't even have to go into my husband's 5 meds, because we're already over the amount I put away. Some of his come mail order, so it's $5 for 3 months.  I added it up and it totals $207.  I'm also on 4,000 mg of D3 and we both take fish oil.  I don't count that in medical, so price doesn't matter.  That comes out of my grocery budget.

That actually makes me feel better.  I don't know how we make it on what I budget.  God is indeed good.  But my point was we can't get a non-leaky patio until some of those bills go away. But after writing this blog, I do feel better about our decision to wait.  Like I said, God takes care of our NEEDS, just not always our WANTS.

Inconsiderate In-laws

Well, now I have to deal with idiot in-laws.  No, not my husband's parents, but his brother.

You see, my brother-in-law is one of those flaming liberals who thinks everyone has to do what he's doing, when he's doing it, or they're idiots.  You have to believe what he believes, eat the way he eats, etc.  And if he changes, you have to change, too, because everyone knows he knows everything.

I had posted a blog on my other site and on Face Book about America and the direction it's taking.  I connected my boldness in speaking out politically to the song, "Live Like You Were Dying."  Why did I do that?  Because it came out the first time I went through this.  I guess maybe I knew I wasn't dying then, and didn't live so I'd have no regrets.  Now, I've decided to speak out about what's wrong with the direction this country is taking.

My brother-in-law is a "vegetarian."  I put that in quotes, because it's OK for him to deviate from this diet, but not me.  He got a hair up his butt one time and wanted me to come to his house to live for a month, and take in nothing but water for a month.  He said it would cleanse everything out of my system, and I'd feel like crap for a while, so he'd work from home and take care of me.  Yea, right.  I have epilepsy and missing a meal can bring on a seizure.  He is firmly convinced that if I eat all raw and green smoothies, I can cure my own cancer.  Wow, he should tell everyone that.  There are a lot of people out there dealing with and dying from cancer.  He could win the Nobel Peace Prize.  Don't laugh, Obama got one.

Here's what he posted on my face book page:  If you really wanted to live like you were dying, get on with it and take your health seriously.  Cure yourself and stop with the pity party.

I don't understand how deciding to fight for my country is having a pity party, but besides that...this is what I answered him:  F U Bro. I'm taking a proactive approach to my health.  I'm eating more veggies, taking Laetrile and refusing to put chemo in my body.  You can take your liberal (EVERYONE has to be like me or they're stupid) crap somewhere else.  Treat your wife better then we'll talk.

He is self-absorbed and doesn't care one whit about his wife.  She made plans for them to attend a fashion show, which he agreed to go to.  She's from Europe and actually designed clothes for a while. She LOVES fashion.  The day of the event, he asked if it was set in stone, because he just agreed to play tennis (which he does A LOT) with a buddy.  So, dump your wife?  I told her to go alone, she doesn't need him, and she did and had a blast.  Life like you were dying.  He has no concept of that idea for someone like me and her who have lived our whole lives making sure someone else is happy first.

I got my power port flushed today, and expected the above incident to have my blood pressure up.  But I was fine, 115/74.  Perfect.  I guess I'm getting better at accepting idiot relatives. 

I do try to eat better.  But I have a life outside of having a wife to fix everything for me.  This is a man who does so little in the house that they had to hire a maid service to come clean their house/condo.  It's just to much for his wife to do by herself when she's so defeating on her efforts.  They both work and she does the "cooking," or I should say meal preparation.  And she finds really great things to do with healthy meals.  She can't have dairy or fish, and is trying to be gluten free.  The only thing he does is make his smoothies that she can't stand to eat either. 

I ALMOST wish cancer on him, just to prove to him that you can't cure it with a good diet.  It does help, but it won't go away.  I still subscribe to the vitamin deficiency theory.  Not many foods have a lot of laetrile naturally, except apricot kernels.  I can't keep buying apricots.  I do eat the seeds of the apples that I eat.  But now I'm driving a kid to and picking him up from school.  And naturally, the store doesn't open for an hour and a half after he has to be there.  I don't have the energy to make 3 trips out.

Well, I guess the best thing is to keep doing what I'm doing, listen to the Holy Spirit and ask for guidance and ignore stupid relatives who think they know it all.

Update:  My brother-in-law answered me on my post and said he'd take me serious when I gave up cheese, as that helps cancer grow.  Is he an idiot or what?  My oncologist (who, as I've said before is very into diet and exercise as weapons in the arsenal) says cancer lives on SUGAR.  He has told me to cut out artificial sweeteners totally, and to only eat sugar in rare incidences.  I live in Texas and I GAVE UP SWEET TEA.  If that's not sacrificing, I don't know what is.  If it was cheese that fed cancer, then they would make me eat cheese before a PET scan.  Do they?  No, they give me a glucose solution that's radiated and then have me drink water with iodine in it.  As to my other friend, I do try to eat as healthy (non-GMO) as possible, but just can't afford to go organic.  Wish I could.

I've got that feeling again...

I'm sure you know the feeling I'm talking about:  Why am I even fighting this?  My head knows that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but I'm just so tired of fighting. 

If you're the family member of someone with cancer, work hard to give them something to fight for.  It doesn't help if you yell at the person with cancer.  It doesn't help if you have a parent with cancer and refuse to listen to them.  I feel like I'm raising a totally useless to society child.  I can't get him to clean his room, he lies to me, he steals from me and hides things in his room.

I had an incidence outside my house yesterday that involved the police, an ambulance and a very angry black woman.  All I heard was "he was tryin' to kill me."  I had been gone taking my younger son to school, and had left my older, handicapped child at home. He's self sufficient for about a half day.  He cooks by himself, does everything but shave himself (not much dexterity).  He is a bit trusting, and would let Ted Bundy or Charles Manson into the house, but he's also strong.  I got home in time for the ambulance door to shut and the cops to leave.  But, it got me wondering if she just happened to be walking by our yard and got attacked by a group of black school kids because they thought she lived here....we have a Romney/Ryan sign in our yard. 

So I decided to make sure I knew and was familiar with the lock on our gun.  We have a trigger lock so it can't accidentally fire.  It's a revolver.  I found the key, but couldn't find the gun.  When I texted my husband, he said he thought he hid it, but couldn't remember where.  He hid it so well, that he hid it from himself.  I stopped looking when I found two machetes and a mace pen.  Good enough. 

But I decided to see if maybe my 13 year old took it to his room.  Dumber things have happened.  He was complaining the other day that he didn't have any school uniform pants, that some were too small.  I had just made a trip to the store to buy another pair.  There were three stuffed behind his bed with about 3 loads worth of clothes.  I started pulling things out and got madder as I went.  Anger is not good, stress is not good, for cancer patients.  I found the fork I'd been looking for. I have somehow "lost" half my good forks and had to buy another set from the thrift store.  I only had 4 left, so I knew how many.  It had a bent tine that was burnt.  How and why do you burn a fork?

I told my husband he had to deal with it, because I didn't need the stress.  Originally, the first time I got cancer, I prayed that I would live long enough to see him drive.  He was 5 at the time, turning 6 before treatment was over.  Now I want to take it back.  I want to die before I have to see him in prison.  It makes me wonder where I went wrong.

But my whole point in that story was to let kids know (and any other care giver) if they have a parent with cancer, little things can throw them into a depression.  Fighting is everything.  When you lose the will to fight, you may lose the battle.  If anyone does read this blog, pray for the strength to fight.  I'm losing the will to fight this any longer.

Man, Dieting is Hard

I just realized just how hard dieting really is.  I also realize just how expensive it is to eat "healthy."  I've been trying to measure everything, log it in to my app, keep track of every bite that goes into my mouth, but man is it hard.  I don't have that long of an attention span.

I also realize that all of my recipes that I've done for years are not all that healthy, but they are comfort foods.  I don't want to put them in my log, because I eat way too much when I make them.  The other night I made Tuna Noodle Casserole.  It's my mother-in-law's recipe that I've been making for 25 years or so.  My husband basically made me learn it.  She does a lot of one pot meals.  My mom did a meat (usually either grilled or shake and baked) with a canned or frozen vegetable, a starch (usually either a baked potato or high starch vegetable like corn) and a salad.  My husband didn't grow up that way, so he likes all his casseroles, which are meat and pasta basically.  And my MIL called my mom lazy.  She put her casseroles together in the morning and then maybe sliced a tomato or cucumber to go with it. 

Sad to say, but because of how my husband was raised, I've resorted to doing the same thing.  It's easier to throw a casserole together and cook everything in one pot.  I need to get back to getting good cuts of meat and then throwing a vegetable together with a starch and a salad.  But, being sick like I am, it's attractive to be able to put a casserole together in the morning when I have more energy and then throw it in the oven at dinner time.

Last night, I tried a new recipe.  My husband has gotten used to me trying new things on him, but he wasn't fond of this one.  I have a Pinterest account, and they posted Hot Dog Casserole.  My oldest son LOVES hot dogs, and I made the mistake of saying the name of the recipe out loud.  I checked, and I had all the ingredients, so we made it.  I and my oldest son loved it, my younger son gave it a 2.9 out of 4 (I gave it a 3.5) and my husband didn't like it at all.  We're eating the left overs tonight, with my husband having the tuna noodle casserole.  Bye, bye diet.  Oh well, a vacation for a day.  I've eaten pretty good so far.  Had half a grapefruit and a banana for breakfast.

Emotional Roller Coaster

I know that a roller coaster of ups and downs goes with any prolonged illness, but I wanted to make sure everyone else knows it. 

I had a bad day Sunday, but it always gets better.  My husband has not given up his talk radio, but he doesn't shush me when I speak over it.  That makes me feel better. 

I didn't feel like cooking yesterday, so we went out.  I had Denny's Tilapia Ranchero, but substituted the cheesy mashed potatoes with broccoli.  It tasted really good.  I didn't weigh myself this morning, too afraid.  I can't really do the military diet, it makes me too hungry.  I just had nuts for breakfast this morning, and I'll eat light for lunch.  That's because I want Tuna Noodle Casserole for dinner.  I planned on making it last night, but got pooped out too early.  This is a dish that can be made (except for the parmesan cheese on top) early and put in the fridge until time to bake it.  so that's what I'm doing this morning, to ensure I get it tonight.

I got my new glasses yesterday, too, which helped my mood.  My old glasses were a bit large for my face (since I don't have hair to soften the edges) and made me look fat.  I chuckled to myself as I wrote that, because my new glasses are Baby Phat's...oh well. At least they're smaller and don't make me look Phat.  But, I can read the menu on the satelite now....don't tell anyone I was driving with corrected vision of 20/50....wow, I can read license plates and road signs again!

Bad Day Emotionally

It's hard to live with death hanging over your head all the time.  I mostly don't think about it.  I feel pretty good.  But I know it's hard on my husband, who has to take up the slack on housework when I don't feel like it.  If he wants me to do dinner, I have to only do "station keeping" on the house.  Not too much deep cleaning gets done.  It's harder with 2 kids that mess it up more than you can clean it up.

I woke up yesterday, ready to go to church.  But my husband didn't feel like it. He does have a valid excuse: He's been dealing with a broken leg for almost a year.  But, I had excess energy.  I come from a family who had a mom that re-arranged the living room about twice a year.  Admittedly, there were only a few ways to do it, but she changed it.  He comes from a family that never even moved the furniture to vacuum under it.  Same, same, same all the time.  I decided I wanted a change, and was trying to figure out how to go about it.  We only have a couple ways also.  I knew it would be a lot of work so I asked him to talk me out of it with rational arguments.  He started screaming. 

Long story short, I spent 2 hours crying in my walk in closet before he even came to check on me.  By then it had deteriorated to the point where I told him of all the people I know he is the best at making me feel like a turd that's totally worthless.  I knew he was feeling I was just a burden, even though he denied it.  I had the attitude why is God dragging this out so long?  He went to mow the grass.

But, why IS God dragging this out so long?  I've been dealing with this for 2 years, if you count the few months I dealt with a dry cough before it actually got diagnosed.  This time last year I was trying to convince myself it was allergies.  December of 2010 was when I got the PET scan that confirmed it was back.  If God is waiting for my husband to learn some vague lesson, He can stop.  Either cure me or kill me, but my husband is too hard-headed to learn a lesson from anyone.

If the roles were reversed, I would hang on his every word, because I would realize I may not have him next year, or next month or tomorrow.  I have to wait until there's nothing on talk radio or TV to get attention.

I thought at first that it was my motivation to lose a little weight.  But I've tried losing for someone else before and it never works.  I want to lose for me.  I'm hoping that I'll have more energy and the good nutrition will help fight this off.  But sometimes I wonder, why do I bother?

Sorry for the bummer of a post, but I swore I'd tell the good, the bad and the ugly.  You just got the ugly. 

Holding Steady

I actually gained one tenth of a pound, which means I'm holding steady.  Not to be crude, but going potty could change that.

I've been taking my D3 for two days now, and I'm sleeping better.  I don't know if that's the reason or not, but I haven't slept this good in a long time.  I usually wake up in the middle of the night a couple times.  I've been able to stay up a bit later, and my naps are getting shorter. 

I've taken the Tykerb two days now.  I think I lasted a week to 10 days last time before I had a reaction.  For my own records, Friday was the first day, so not this Monday, but next Monday I get to raise the dose to 3 pills, if I don't get a rash.

Now, it's off to fry an egg and make a piece of toast for the military diet.

Starting the Military Diet Again

I think I'm a day late, but I saw my doctor yesterday and knew the treatment would make me feel bad.  I needed comfort food instead of a diet.  So I started it again today.  I'm feeling good so far.  Like I said earlier, this diet lasts 3 days, and then you eat sensibly for 4 days.

I did make one mistake.  I thought I remembered the diet, but I just ate day 2's dinner.  So I'll have to swap out day 1 and day 2 suppers.  At least I'm not exchanging food items, making food substitutions.  I'm only changing days around.

I am stuck around the same weight, 168 or so, so hopefully this will jump start it and make it go down again.  I thought the 7 pounds (even though I gained a pound back, making it 6) is considered dramatic results.  I expected to only lose 2-3 pounds a week.  I'm sticking to the only drinking coffee, unsweetened tea or water.  And believe me, being in Texas and mostly from the south, not having my sweet tea is a sacrifice.  I had cut out sugar mostly, using artificial sweeteners, but I'm discovering that artificial sweeteners make me hungrier.

I wonder how I'll put this out if it works?  I have a couple goals.  I want to get my weight down to 145 (currently 167.8), so I need to lose 20-25 pounds.  I also want to be able to exercise more, which is hard to do carrying extra pounds.  And finally, though maybe not in order of importance, I want the cancer to go away.

I took my new pills (the lower dose of the same pills that gave me a rash last time) this morning for the first time.  I also took my D3 last night for the first time.  I think I slept better last night.  We'll see how it goes.

Monthly Visit With my Doctor

I had my monthly visit with my doctor.  He was excited that I lost 6 pounds (got a hug from him).  He's from Columbia if I hadn't mentioned it, and is Christian.  He wears his Christianity on his sleeve, which is why I picked him.  He did ask about my exercise level, and wants me to do 30 minutes 3-4 times a week.  I managed to get on my Gazelle (a glider) twice in the past month.  It's a start.  I showed him my My Plate calorie tracker app from Live Strong.  He was impressed.  I briefly told him about the military diet, but didn't go into detail beyond I had to eat specific things for 3 days, then sensibly for 4 days.

He said my Vitamin D level was down, so he wants me on a D3 supplement.  He wants me taking 2.000 mg a day, which is 2 pills.  It's OK, I stopped at WalMart and got some and they're tiny pills, at least compared to the others I'm taking.  We talked about the Tykerb, the one I had an allergic reaction to.  I told him that I just couldn't bring myself to take it again, because I have a history of my reactions escalating very quickly.  He wants me to take just 2 instead of 5 for 10 days.  If I tolerate that well, I can add a third for another 10 days, and so on.  He wants to find the dose that doesn't get a reaction.  I asked him if I get a reaction, do I drop down?  He said yes.  So if I react at 2, I take one.  I don't know if he's going to replace it with anything else.  I forgot to tell him that I raised my Laetrile to 300mg a day.  He missed on my computer chart that I was still getting the hormone blocker shot (something like Flasodex?) and was going to put me on another pill similar to Arimidex, which I had been taking before this came back.  When I mentioned that I had 2 shots to get today, he realized I was still on it and canceled the other pill.

I think that's all that was discussed.  He said he read in a journal that Vitamin D helps fight breast cancer, so he wants to make sure I have enough.  I called my mom, who is a 13 year breast cancer survivor.  By coincidence, she also had her labs done today and when I mentioned the Vitamin D, she said hers was low, too.  What was odd is that she said they never checked it before.  So I told her about the article her read.  She's a retired nurse, so she knows what all those initials are for on the complete blood count (CBC).

I tried to stay on my diet today, but I ended up splurging for dinner.  The shots I get make me feel bad for a couple days, and I didn't feel like cooking.  My husband did scrambled eggs and I had our son help with pancakes.  I ate 6, with regular syrup (not diet).  Oh well.

Still Tweaking Normal Diet

I think this is the last day of eating regular, before I can start the military diet again.  I lose track.  I guess I should have written it on the calendar.  I don't think one day will matter. 

For breakfast, I had one small apple chunked with cinnamon on it.  Cinnamon is supposed to be a cancer fighting spice.  Everything helps.  Then for lunch I had 2 servings of canned oysters on my allowed 8 crackers and a half cup of cottage cheese.  No snacks today.  I made regular tea, with no sweetener added.  For dinner, I'm having 5 oz of tilapia on the grill with homemade picco de gallo (no avocado), 1 cup of wild rice, 1 cup of tomato, cucumber, pepper salad with a small amount of vinegar dressing.  Today I only drank coffee, tea or water.  We'll see how tomorrow goes.

My son was talking to his friend, who is on a diet.  Before anyone goes ballistic, he was overweight, so his dad put him on a diet of sensible eating, just cutting out the junk and carbs, and no snacking in between meals.  He is allowed diet sodas and drinks, but I just told my son it made me crave more food.  I would suggest cutting out the drinks period.  He told him about my diet and how much I've lost.  I think he's at his sticking point.  He only wants to lose about 14 more pounds.  He's done really good, and is looking good.

Well, I ended up with only 3 oz of fish because there was less there than we thought. I had 1-1/3 cup salad instead.  This gave me enough calories left over for 2 ice cream bars.  It's probably the Splenda in the dressing.

Set Back on Diet

I've only been tracking what I eat and trying to keep it at or around the 1.260 mark that my program says I should be at.  But I've been going over about 50 calories the last couple of days.  I added 1.2 pounds of the last 2 days.

I guess either I'm not getting a good spread of carbs throughout the day, like on the military diet, or I'm just eating to much fat or carbs.  I did notice one thing.  We had run out of sun tea (made with only Lipton Tea and drank with no sugar or Splenda) and had gone back to the Crystal Lite sort of tea, already sweetened.  I think artificial sweeteners are my downfall.  If it's not sunny here today, I'll boil some water and make tea.  I need the UNSWEETENED type.  No more sugars.

I may also take the advice of my one commenter....eat a lot less for breakfast, and possibly only a small protein, like an egg.  If I totally skip breakfast, it makes me not lose either.  It's funny that the only thing that has worked is this military diet.  But if I lose 7 pounds and then gain back 2 in my 4 off days, it won't do much good.

My goal is 145.  I felt the best at 145 pounds.  I was a size 8 when I was 145, but that was on a anti-seizure med that caused weight loss.  I ended up at 135 and close to a size 4.  I looked like a Holocaust survivor, you could count my ribs.  That's why I like a size 8 better.  Right now, I'm in 12, sometimes a 10.  They have "vanity sizing" now at Walmart.  They went through and labeled everything a size smaller so you think you're smaller than you are.  So, if you buy from Walmart, you're a 10, but if you buy anywhere else, you're a 12.   I personally hate jeans with Lycra in them.  I'd rather have 100% cotton denim.  But they're hard to find at a price I can afford, so I hit the thrift stores.

We'll see today, about my diet, with cutting out the sweeteners and just having fruit for breakfast.  Yesterday I had an apple, walnuts sprinkled with cinnamon.  It was great.  I may lose the nuts today, though.

Medical Update

I've been concentrating on this diet so much, I hadn't really thought about my cancer.  I decided to share some thoughts and updates.

The last pill gave me a severe allergic reaction so I stopped them.  I was only supposed to stop for a week, but to tell the truth, I'm too scared to go back on it.  I don't like allergic reactions.  It's the body's way of saying STOP taking this, it's hurting you. It's still about 5 days until I see my doctor.

My doctor is not opposed to alternative medicine, but he wants to use it in conjunction with modern medicine.  I don't know what he's going to put me on instead of this pill.  He explained that it blocks more receptors than Herceptin (which I'm also allergic to). I was beginning to think I was over-reacting, but I took my 22 year old son (who is handicapped) to the doctor to get his test results back.  He has gout, and the med they want to put him on could cause a rash.  If it does, I'm supposed to stop immediately.  That re-enforces my decision to not go back on it.  It is a possibility.

I feel great.  I'm still a bit tired at times, but only if I get cocky and try to do more than I should.  Today I had to run to the doctor for the lab results for my son, then in the waiting room got a call that his glasses were ready and had to run there.  I had to drop off his prescriptions and then run to the bank and all that running necessitated a nap.  I still haven't gotten in the swing of cooking every night and some nights we just have a sandwich.  I had planned on tuna noodle casserole tonight, but I think we're having tuna fish sandwiches instead.  But at least I'm not sitting in a chair unable to walk across the floor.

My hair is slowly filling in.  I still feel like Golum....just patches that are halfway thick, with patches that are REALLY thin.  I'm getting creative on how to tie a scarf.  I've increased my wardrobe of scarfs so I have one for every color of outfit.  I prefer the cotton-ish or linen-ish ones, as opposed to the silky ones.  I suppose with half of them being silky, I should just get a wig liner so they don't slip.

I have doubled my dose of Laetrile...now I'm taking 200 mg.  I started out taking 100 mg morning and then again at night.  But it seems to make me a bit sleepy, like my body wants to sleep so it can heal.  So, I take both at night.  I've dropped my cholesterol meds and my high blood pressure meds.  I had a blood test recently, but don't know the results.  The body will make what it needs, and if there's a blockage, it will make more to make sure it gets what  it needs.  I'm trying to eat more broccoli and the other natural inflammation reducers.  My pressure is good, just don't know about the cholesterol.

I'll keep doing updates, on medical condition and diet success.  The main reason for the diet is that my doctor said to cut out sugar (which is HARDER than it sounds - I believe it is addictive) and exercise more.  Right now, just keeping up with my house is my exercise.  I hope to be energetic enough to take the dogs for a walk.  Right now I can only handle letting the cat out on a leash.  You don't really walk cats, you let them explore at their own pace, which mine is terrified of the outside and keeps to the house foundation and bushes.  It's actually quite amusing.

Diet "Tweaking"

OK, I'm gonna tweak the diet a bit.  I wanted to get a side-by-side comparison of the military diet and what you get each meal, and it's easier for me when I see it written down, so here goes.

Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit, 1 slice toast, 2 TBP Peanut butter
                  1 egg, 1 slice toast, 1/2 banana
                  5 saltine crackers, 1 slice cheddar cheese, 1 small apple

Lunch:      1/2 cup tuna, 1 slice toast
                 1 cup cottage cheese, 1 boiled egg, 5 saltine crackers
                 1 boiled egg, 1 slice toast

Dinner:    3 oz meat, 1 cup green beans, 1/2 banana, 1 small apple, 1 cup ice cream
                2 hotdogs, 1 cup broccoli, 1/2 cup carrots, 1/2 banana, 1/2 cup ice cream
                1 cup tuna, 1/2 banana, 1 cup ice cream

So, I do see a pattern.  For one thing, there is something from the 3 major groups each meal, spreading them out.  You generally get a small amount of protein, carbohydrates and fruit for breakfast.  Then for lunch you get slightly more protein and no fruit.  For dinner, it's a bit more protein even than lunch (the most of the day), with veggies and fruit and a little bit of sugar.

Even though I cheated yesterday, eating at Denny's, I still lost weight.  Yesterday morning I was at 168.0.  This morning it was 167.4.  So, in just 6 days I've lost 7 pounds.  I can deal with that.  So I need to stick to this pattern for my 4 "free days." 

To generalize, it's Breakfast: small protein, moderate carbohydrates, moderate fruit.  For Lunch, it's moderate protein and moderate carbs.  For Dinner, it's high protein, moderate vegetables, low fruit and I've been having the sugar snack in the evening.

I'm going to continue to eat according to the calories that my app says to get.  For today (and I said it's going down as I lose) it's 1.260 calories.  Let's see how this goes.  I also am going to be a bit more active today, as I have to take my son to the doctor.

Day 3 of the Diet

Well, I didn't make it all 3 days...I feel hypoglycemic...low blood sugar.  There isn't much sugar on this diet, and that's been my norm for too long.  I did good until dinner time, and now I'm STARVED!  I did manage to lose 6.8 pounds in 5 days.  That's great for me.  So, I'll eat regular for 4 days, and try again.  I don't know if I'll make it a whole month, but I'll give it a try.

I weigh at the same time every morning, wearing the same clothes.  So I know my weight loss is accurate.  It won't be the same when I go to the doctor, because of wearing shoes and clothes (sorry for the picture in the heads of the people that know me, but I weigh in bra and panties). And no, I'm not posting pictures.  I'm still close to 50, trust me you don't want to see them.

I'm going to continue the Iphone app I have that tracks what I eat.  I'm supposed to be at 1,268 calories, and it keeps going down as I lose weight.  That sucks, but oh well.  The hardest part of that has been actually entering everything I eat.  It makes me very aware of what I do eat, so I guess it helps.  I didn't realize I was getting as many calories as I was.  Right now I'm fighting the craving for SUGAR!

Day One of the Diet under my Belt

I've completed day one of the military diet.  I did get hungry, but I drank water. And I didn't get hungry until in the evening.  I ended up eating lunch at about 11:30, but I was starved so I ate dinner at 4:30.  I saved the ice cream (yes, we get ice cream on this diet) until about 7:30.

I've lost 6 pounds in 4 days.  But, the first day I did nothing but weigh, the second day I only did my app to track my weight (and I was about 54 calories over what they told me to eat), yesterday was day 3 and I haven't done anything but weigh today.  It's early. 

So, today I get:  Breakfast, 1 egg, a slice of toast and 1/2 banana.  For lunch, I get 1 cup cottage cheese, 1 hard boiled egg and 5 crackers and for dinner, I get 2 hot dogs, 1 cup broccoli, 1/2 cup carrots, 1/2 banana and a half cup of vanilla ice cream.  I'm holding off as long as I can for breakfast.  The only thing allowed to drink is coffee (I assume black), tea (I assume unsweetened) or water.

I guess for dinner, I'll make brats for everyone but me, doing hot dogs for me.  I may check out the calories between the two and see how close they are.  Brats would be healthier in my opinion, if the calories are the same.  You never know what goes into a hot dog.  But I can do steamed broccoli and carrots to go with it and maybe rice.  I won't be able to eat the rice, buy my husband can't go a meal without a starch.

I'm pleased with the progress.  Six pounds is a great start.  And I broke that 170 mark. 

Yesterday, doing the military diet, I ended up very close to what my app said I should eat for calories.  I was supposed to get 1,270.  I would have gotten 1,281, but I did yard work for a half hour and counted it as exercise.  It took 154 calories off.  We (my husband and I, but mostly me) dug a hole and transplanted a peach tree from a pot to a plot in our yard.  I dug most of the hole (he currently has a broken leg and isn't supposed to put weight on it), and then rolled the pot on it's side to loosen the root ball.  He picked it up (with my help stabilizing and removing the pot) and put it in the hole.  Then I put the dirt back around it.  BUT, in between putting the tree in the ground and pulling the dirt back to fill the hole, I had to run and get the water hose because the old pot had a fire ant nest in it.  They attacked him, but not me (for rolling it around).  So, I'd say it was exercise.  I haven't jogged, even across the yard, in at least 2 years.  He's better this morning, but I'll be spreading borax and Splenda across the yard where they were.  They are concentrated in a stump we have, and had tunneled to the pot across the yard.  We sprayed with Murphy's Oil Soap yesterday, but it wasn't listed as a killing agent and I want to make sure they die with the queen.

New Diet

I'm going to start a new diet.  I need something to jump start my weight loss.  I know, my doctor said only natural foods, and he chooses to not eat meat from the United States, but I'm giving this a try.  I currently weigh 174 (at 5 ft 5).  I don't look that heavy, though.  I wear a size 12.  I felt my best when I weighed 145, so I could stand to lose about 40 pounds.

I subscribe to Pinterest, and saw this post on it with what they called a military diet.  It says that the military uses it when they have to lose weight fast.  The pinner stated that she had to quit after 2 days because of hypoglycemic issues.  But, here it is:

You follow the following for 3 days, exactly, no substitutes:

Day 1
Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit, 1 slice toast, 2 TBSP peanut butter, coffee or tea
Lunch: 1/2 cup tuna, 1 slice toast, coffee or tea
Dinner: 3 oz any meat, 1 cup green beans, 1/2 banana, 1 small apple, 1 cup vanilla icecream

Day 2
Breakfast: 1 egg, 1 slice toast, 1/2 banana
Lunch: 1 cup cottage cheese (or 1 slice cheddar cheese), 1 hard boiled egg, 5 saltine crackers
Dinner: 2 hotdogs (no buns), 1 cup broccoli, 1/2 cup carrots, 1/2 banana, 1/2 cup vanilla ice cream

Day 3
Breakfast: 5 saltine crackers, 1 slice cheddar cheese, 1 small apple
Lunch: 1 hard boiled egg, 1 slice toast
Dinner: 1 cup tuna, 1/2 banana, 1 cup vanilla ice cream

For Days 4-7, eat as normal, but don't over do it.  This is supposed to see a weight loss of 10 pounds during this week.  You supposedly can do this for a month, repeating exactly the pattern, for a total of 40 pounds lost.

We shall see.  I don't recommend anyone doing this without speaking to their doctor.  I, however, being an adult and able to make up my own mind, choose to go get the groceries and do it.  I don't have grapefruit, ice cream, cottage cheese, hot dogs or crackers.  In my case, I have to change the crackers to gluten free ones.  Let's see how it affects the results.  Should I choose to eat regular crackers, I'd be in severe pain and have the Big D.  I'm a celiac and can't eat wheat, barley or rye.

Free Speech

I just read an article about a man who was blogging his experiences with the Paleo Diet and his diabetes.  Apparently the AMA or FDA or some government agency tried to take him to court over it because he's not a licensed dietitian, and was therefore not authorized to give advice.  They made him make is "disclaimer" more prominent on his blog. 

This is the only disclaimer you will get from me.  In this country, at the time of this writing, we the People are guaranteed free speech.  Do I believe there are limits?  Maybe.  You can't yell fire in a crowded theatre, or "gun" in a police department, it causes panic.  Is what I'm doing (or the other fellow did) causing panic?  Maybe from the drug industry when they realize that the pills they push aren't really curing anything and we the people are finding out about it.

I was raised in a medical family.  My aunt married a doctor, 4 out of 5 of the women in my mom's family (herself and two of her sisters plus her mother) were in the nursing field, to varying extents.  I have a cousin that's a radiation tech?  Can't remember but something like that.  I was brainwashed for a long time to just trust the doctors.

But now, you have DOCTORS coming out and saying a lot of the meds don't do anything.  I watched an interview with a doctor (on FOX, maybe?) who said cholesterol meds are bogus.  I don't remember how exactly he put it, but here's the theory.  You have high blood pressure because your organs need a certain amount of blood flow in order to work at optimum capacity.  If your arteries are clogged a little, your pressure needs to rise to get the right amount of flow going to those organs.  If you just lower the pressure, your organs won't get enough blood (including your brain) and things can start to go wrong.  Some of your organs need a certain amount of cholesterol to function properly.  If your arteries are clogged, they're not getting as much as they need, so the body makes more.  Lowering your cholesterol will only mean that the organs that need the cholesterol won't get it.  Cholesterol is not water soluble, meaning it doesn't dissolve in the blood.  The blood carries it where it's needed.  The reason your arteries are clogged has nothing to do with the amount of cholesterol being carried.  Your arteries are inflamed and therefore "grab" the cholesterol.

So, by just lowering blood pressure and lowering cholesterol, you're doing more damage to the body than good.  You need to find ways to bring down the inflammation.  Some suggest a baby aspirin, but that really only thins the blood to make it flow easier.

I found this list on line of foods that lower inflammation naturally.  Of the more common ones listed are broccoli, tart cherries, onions, garlic, pineapple and spinach.  Strange, I didn't know that, but I've increased my onion and garlic intake because I've been trying to eat more vegetables and it makes them taste better.  I haven't had a blood pressure pill since June 1st, and it's August 9th and my pressure runs about 128/80.  If you listen to modern medicine now, that's been revised to be borderline high.  I remember when they didn't worry until you got to 140/90.  Now they say the lower the better.  Sounds like a pitch to get everyone on blood pressure pills.

They put my son (who has a heart condition) on blood pressure pills.  The theory was that it would open the arteries so that the blood flowed through the arteries instead of regurgitated back through the valve, the theory of least resistance.  He (as well as his brother and I) is Celiac.  When he gets something not on his diet, it causes his triglycerides to spike.  He happened to get a test after getting something off his diet, with triglycerides at 300 so they put him on cholesterol meds.  How ridiculous is that?  His new medicaid doctor said he didn't need either.

So who do you believe?  "Modern" medicine always makes fun of home remedies, calling them old wives tales.  But look at the health of our ancestors compared to our health now.  Cancer is WAY up, as is heart disease and other health issues.  Then take a look at our diet (mostly highly processed) and the amount of pills everyone takes.  Doctors just prescribe a pill and send you away.  You don't think it has anything to do with the fact that almost every time I go to a doctor, sometime during my wait time I see a drug representative coming in and going straight back to see the doctor or leave samples, do you?

So, I will continue my little experiment on myself with home therapies.  I do think I have a fairly good doctor, but I don't blindly accept what he says either.  I'll continue to take my Laetrile while my stage IV cancer is in the early stages and not terminal.  We are born with a terminal disease, because the end of every life is death.  No one will be able to tell me that all those chemicals they put into a cancer patient's body is better for them than targeting the cancer cell itself and turning it off.  It's the difference between a shot gun and a sniper rifle.

Time for an Update

It's time for an update.  Last I wrote, my new doctor had said that the pills I received in the mail were NOT chemo drugs, but much like Herceptin, only better.  I was allergic to Herceptin.  My first reaction to Herceptin was an all over body itch.  So they started giving me Benidryl before (as in moments before) my infusion.  Then, I had an incidence of "thick tongue," where it made it a bit difficult to speak clearly.  At the time, I assumed it was from the Benidryl making me sleepy, and thus causing me to slur my words.  Upon more thought, sleepy doesn't equal slurred words.  I chose not to take it anymore so my doctor prescribed a pill.

Well, I started the pills.  I took them maybe a week, 10 days?  I'd have to count them to see how many days I have left.  The dose was 5 pills in one sitting, taking them either an hour after or an hour before I ate.  I was taking them one hour after dinner, and waiting an hour after that to have any evening snacks.

Meanwhile, due to code violations that I believe are abusively restrictive (but that's another blog), I was trimming my crepe myrtle tree in the front of my house.  I had to saw a few larger limbs with a pole trimmer, and it dropped massive amounts of pollen onto me.  Two days after this, I broke out in a rash on my face and head.  I assumed it was the pollen.  It was little puss filled pimples all around my nose, some actually inside my nose, and it spread.  I made sure I washed my face very well, and started my Neti pot to clean out my sinuses.  It got worse.  A few days later (and this is during the time I was taking my new meds) I decided it had to be something else.  The only other option was the new pills.  I didn't take them that night, planning on calling the doctor in the morning.  He said to stop it, just in case, for a week.  That week is up tomorrow.  I'm almost totally clear now.

It makes me not want to start it back.  But I suppose I have to to make sure it was the pills.  It doesn't say when to take them, so I might start taking them in the morning instead of the evening.  I get up around 4:45 with my husband, but don't eat until around 8:00.  Maybe taking them on a totally empty stomach will make a difference.  We'll see.

I raised my dose of Laetrile to 200 mg.  At first I was taking 100 mg at night and then another in the morning.  But it seems to make me a bit sleepy so I switched to both at night.  I'm considering buying the 500mg dose next time.  I'll have to compare how many you get and what the benefits would be.  It's like it causes my body to go into repair mode.  Your body can only repair itself when you're sleeping, so I guess that's why it makes me sleepy.  I'm not eating as many of the apricot kernels.  I don't seem to crave them on 200 mg of laetrile.

After I quit the new pills (that are like Herceptin, called Tykerb), I started feeling better.  I kinda felt on the verge of a fever...you know, like your body is fighting off a cold and not quite succeeding? I have been craving raisins, though.  Don't know why.  Probably the lack of sugar.  I've switched from the Crystal Lite tea drinks (artificial sweeteners) to sun-brewed regular tea and no sweetener.  It actually tastes pretty good.  My son had me put lime juice in it and it was even better.

As far as how I'm doing cancer-wise, I don't know.  If I go on feeling, I feel about the same, better now that I'm off the Tykerb.  Tykerb had messed with my bowels a bit, first causing diarrhea, then constipation.  After almost a week off of it, I'm normal again.  I also don't feel bloated like I had gotten.  It would solve so much if I could discover that it wasn't gluten free.  Part of me wants the decision to quit it out of my hands.  I don't want to abandon modern medicine, but it's not doing anything for me but causing side effects that need to be treated. 

I see my doctor again on the 23rd, so I guess we'll see.

The Political Side of Medicine

Ah, I remember like it was yesterday.  Our fearless leader was trying to sell us on the "Affordable Health Care Bill."  They wouldn't actually TELL us what was in the bill.  Remember Pelosi's you have to pass it to find out what's in it?  But we were assured that we would get to keep our doctors if we liked them, our premiums would not go up, our care would not be determined by some bureaucrat sitting in an office and a lot of people would get insurance that couldn't afford it before.  We were also told that even thinking there would be death panels was ludicrous, it would never happen in this land of lollipops and candy canes.

And then reality hit.  I just got an email yesterday that my insurance premiums are going up 17%.  Let's do the math here.  My income didn't go up 17%.  My husband makes $15 an hour.  In order to get a 17% raise, he would have to start earning $2.55 more.  He's never gotten a raise that big.  He had to threaten to leave to get $1.  And I think that's the only raise he's gotten in 7 years.  For his military retirement to go up 17%, he'd have to get $241.23 more a month.

When I write my budget, I take everything that comes into the household and then what I need to pay for.  I divide some by a month, because my husband's retirement is a monthly income.  That would be the mortgage and truck/car payments.  Then I use an average 40 hour week for the estimate of his work income.  Yes, he gets a retirement check but you don't actually think we can retire on it, do you?  It means I don't have to go out and get an $8 an hour job, and then pay for child care for an adult handicapped person.  I can't just add another few bucks in without lowering something else.  What am I going to lower?  Food?  Gasoline? Am I going to tell the utility company, "I'm sorry, but I'm not paying the full amount you charged me because I have to have healthcare?"

Then, as if that weren't enough, I called to find out when my next appointment was with my oncologist.  I just got a new doctor.  We decided that instead of the shot for suppressing my calcium (I have cancer on my spine, rib and next to my breastbone), he would start me on an infusion that would strengthen my bones.  But when I stopped to make the appointment, the appointment lady was on lunch break.  Usually they just make it and then call me.  It's tomorrow, and they hadn't called yet, so I called them.  She said I'm getting 2 shots.  I explained that they changed one shot to an infusion that was supposed to take about an hour.  She said they changed it back.  I asked why and she said it "was the channel they chose to use."  I said, "Oh, so my insurance company wouldn't approve it?"  She just said that she'd let someone else tell me that.  So, my insurance company has written me off and decided I'm not worth the cost of the better drug, I get the cheaper one.  But there are no death panels.  And our doctors will be able to treat us as they see fit.

It's a good thing I think the Big Pharma is suppressing a cure for cancer.  I'll continue my B17.  I raised the dose.  I now take a 100mg tablet at night and another one in the morning.  I started getting pain on my breast bone about 3PM. I figure this ought to stop it.

I hope I have a few readers, because I must reiterate:  I am on government health care.  This is what you all have to look forward to.  I have to wonder what standards they'll use to determine who gets what care?  Is the money that they would have spent on me (as a veteran of only 4 years, and a dependent) going to someone injured in the war?  Does the fact that I'm now nearing 50, and no longer in the work force play a part in it?  What standard would they use on you?  Is your newborn too young, with not enough money invested in him/her from the education department, etc., thus not eligible for that life saving procedure they need?  Is your mom, who just turned 70 and has had a stroke, determined to be of no value to society anymore, so they're just going to give her a pain pill and let her slip away in comfort?  When this happens to you, remember my story.

Laetrile, Vacation and New Meds

I'm back from vacation.  It was exhausting for someone fighting my battles.  I got a little more tired each day.  The first night I was up until about midnight because we had a meet and greet at a local bar.  I don't drink, so I had a coke, but I got to see people I haven't seen in 30 years (some I hadn't seen in 10 or 20 if they showed up at the other reunions).  The second night I didn't get to bed until probably 1 AM or so, because we had a dinner/dance.  The next night was an easy one, because we went to a local winery and it broke up about 3:30 PM, so we relaxed around the hotel and I went to bed about 10 PM.  The next day was a 12 hour drive home, but I slept most of the way.  My sleeping caused my husband to make a wrong turn and we ended up with a 12 hour drive instead of 10....one hour backtracking, then another backtracking the backtracking. Love those confusing on/off ramps in Arkansas.

All things considered, I think the Laetrile made me less tired than I would have been.  But because I wasn't spending half my day in my recliner with my feet up, my ankles swelled up, as well as my bad arm.  It will be nice to take it easy for a while.

My mom is a retired nurse (can you say brainwashed by the AMA?) and doesn't approve of my decision of treatment.  She believes doctors have our best interest at heart.  I think most doctors want to do what's best for the patient, but just don't have all the information.  I think Big Pharma has done a bang up job of hiding the facts and twisting statistics to make this seem like quackery.  I'm going to go on how I FEEL, which is great.  I didn't get to eat my lentils every day while I was on vacation, but I can get back into that.  I'm doing so well, I'm considering taking 2 pills a day.  I went to the website of the place I bought the Laetrile from, and they sell it in 100 mg and 500 mg doses.  I suppose the 100 mg dose is a maintenance dose, while the higher is for active cancer.  I figure it can't hurt to take 200 mg, since they sell it in such a high dose.

I received my meds that my doctor ordered.  The pharmacy called right before we left and said they couldn't accept them, but had to have them shipped to a different store that did "specialized care."  They came in a chemotherapy bag with lots of warnings.  They want me to take 5 tablets that are 250 mg each, once a day an hour before or after a meal.  That sounds like chemotherapy to me, and I'm not doing it.  I am supposed to have an appointment with my new doctor and I'll discuss it with him.  I'm NOT taking chemo again.  I want to stay feeling well, not sick all the time.

I actually don't see that extending my life by a few months is of any benefit if I'm unable to get out of my chair and do my work around the house or take care of myself.  I'd prefer to take care of myself, my house and my family, even if it means for a few months less time.  From the research I've found, chemo only extends the "life" a little bit.  Eating right and doing alternative therapies may only extend the life a bit, but it's more of a life.  I would actually prefer doing nothing over taking chemo again.

I guess we'll see what the new doctor thinks.  I will tell him I'm taking Laetrile.  We'll see what he says.  He is, after all, from Columbia.

Laetrile Update

For a recap, I've been battling stage IV Breast cancer with conventional medicine for a year and 7 months. My cancer came back after a 7 year vacation, into my spine (T5 which is about bra strap level) and my left lung. They have decided I'm stable because I only got a little worse from March's PET scan.  I don't want to be stable, I want to kick it out, so I decided to try a different route recently.  A friend sent me a link about B17, or Laetrile.  I tried at first to do it with just foods that are high in B17, raw apricot kernels, apple seeds, lentils, and chick peas.  I got my Laetrile in yesterday and took one last night. 

I didn't really think much about how I felt.  I got sleepy, but didn't know if it was from the Laetrile or from working hard.

I'm getting ready to go on vacation, and I did 2 loads of laundry and ran a couple errands today.  I also packed my clothes for the trip.  I realized at about dinner time, that my back hadn't hurt at all today.  I realized this because it was just starting to hurt, just a couple hours before the 24 hour mark from taking it last night.  I couldn't wait to get my hot shower and take my Laetrile.  So, if nothing else, it is helping with the pain, and it's not hydrocodone. 

I got a call from my Pharmacy (as a side note).  The doctor had put me on a new pill, that I suppose does the same thing that the Herceptin does, block hormones.  I had stopped the Herceptin after a year and a half because I was having allergic reactions.  The first one was an all over itch.  I had stopped the Benydril, so I started it back up.  Next I had my tongue swell and interfere with my speech.  I'm not taking the chance of anaphylactic shock.  So I stopped it.  This new pill is a substitute for that.  Apparently it's so toxic that my local pharmacy can't accept it.  Something about having to be a "special" pharmacy.  So they sent it to the closest one, which is over an hour drive.  They are going to mail it to me.  Not safe enough to have delivered to the pharmacy, but it can go through the mail system?  Am I sure I even want to take it?

Laetril Trials

OK, I got my Laetril in the mail yesterday.  I'm not going to say where I got it, because supposedly you're not supposed to sell it in the US.  I guess the big Pharma companies know it's a cure for cancer.  How do you patent something that came from a plant?

I took my first one last night.  I had no ill side effects.  It's a 100mg tablet and I can't read everything on the label because I only know a little Spanish.  I looked up some of the words I didn't know, and it's mostly your standard warnings.  Keep out of reach of small children, keep in a cool dry place, use only as directed (which is one tablet a day) and that it's a supplement, not a drug.  I think it also says the person taking it is responsible for any consequences if they live in the US.

I did get a bit sleepy, but it could have been from working all day.  I'm getting ready to go on vacation and there are a lot of preps that need to take place, laundry, packing, making sure I have everything for snacks (special diet for me and both kids), etc.  I seem about the same on energy level today, but, hey, it was only one dose.

I'm continuing the humus (chick peas are high in B17) and lentils when I can.  I also eat the seeds of the apple I eat.  I'm slowing allowing a couple of things a day.  Originally, if I had an apple, with the seeds, I didn't eat any apricot kernels.  I'm almost through my first bag of apricot kernels.  I eat about 10-12 in a sitting.  I don't recommend this to anyone else, this is just what I am doing.  With stage 4 breast cancer (and there being no stage 5), I feel I have nothing to loose and everything to gain.  I've been battling this beast for a year and a half solid, with my first battle being about 7 months long 7 years ago.  That's a long time.

I haven't had my first appointment with my new doctor yet.  I imagine it will have to wait until after my vacation.  I did tell the mammogram people I didn't want a mammogram.  I'll have to tell my surgeon still, but with getting PET scans every 3 months, I don't need more treatments.  I am just tired of all the tests. 

Dropping the Herceptin has given me more energy.  But now, my injection sites are getting sore.  One on each "buttocks".  Sucks.  Will I have to stop those, too?  I am aiming for quality of life.  Why extend life if it's going to be spent in a chair all the time.  I have things to do.

My PET Scan resulsts

I got my PET scan results last Tuesday.  I'd deem them not good, though some might say mixed.  My lung mass was the same.  The mass they found on my 6th or 7th rib (depending on which report you read) is slightly smaller, but now there's another mass on my sternum of about 7 mm, about the size of a pencil eraser.  My doctor said there wasn't enough regression to jump up and down and bring in the big guns (his words).  He tweaked my treatment a little.  I had already dropped the herceptin.  He wants to start me on a pill that I take daily for 3 weeks, then a week off.  I can't remember if he said it did the same as the Herceptin, or the Zometa.  I'm thinking the Herceptin.  He also wants to add a shot (that I'm thinking replaces the Zometa) that I would get once a month, along with the other shot.

While I was there, I mentioned that we had a mix up with them putting his associates name on an authorization for the PET.  I had gotten a bit excited at first (didn't tell him this) because his associate believes in taking diet into consideration, a more holistic approach.  I told my doc that since he's only here 2 days out of the month, I'd like to go ahead and switch.  It was a hard decision, because I've had this doc for 7 years.  But, I've also been in treatment for this round of cancer for a year and a half.  It's time to try something different.

I've been eating lentils almost every day.  I made a humus out of chick peas (garbanzo beans) and I'm using it for a dip.  Not bad.  The first time I had one (they were soaking, and I wanted to see if they were tender enough), I suddenly developed a craving and ended up eating a whole handful, in one sitting.  My body must recognize that I need it.

I got my book in, A World Without Cancer.  It's been an interesting read so far.  I won't go into detail, I'm not a book critique, but it's well worth the read.  I'm a bit disappointed, as it's all trying to convince someone that this is legitimate therapy, when I'm already convinced.  I was expecting a bit more about what foods to eat, etc.  I did learn that the medicine form of Laetril is even more safe than the natural foods.  You can't buy it in the US, only through mail order, and I understand it has a label all in Spanish.  That's OK, I'll have someone I know interpret it for me.  I know lots of people who speak Spanish.  So I ordered some. 

I have noticed a bit less pain.  The pain had been in my shoulder blade and cervical spine.  It's now mostly gone, unless I overdo it a bit on housework.  Yesterday I managed to move all the furniture in the living room and vacuum under them (turned the recliners over on their backs, moved the end tables (4 of them) to vacuum under them).  It's nice to be able to do housework again.  I can't wait to see the results of taking actual Laetril.  I haven't decided if I'll tell my new doctor or not.  I suppose I'll feel him out a bit by starting a conversation on alternative therapies, maybe ask his opinion.

I had always heard that once it went to stage IV, there was really nothing you could do but make the patient comfortable.  My mom (who is a nurse and lives a 12 hour drive away from me) always sounds so sad when I talk to her.  I try to keep it upbeat, because I know that's what she's thinking, too.  It's just a waiting game.  This book talks about clinical trials, and how they're not really testing different drugs, but trying to find the dose that will treat or kill.  It throws a really bad light on pharmaceutical companies.  It makes it sound like the only reason this won't be considered a cure is because it's a food/vitamin/supplement that you can't really patent.  The drug companies make more money selling poison that doesn't work, or even increases the number of people that need it, than they ever would with Laetril.  We shall see.

That's why I started this blog, to document my efforts to cure myself.  Just think, if Obamacare gets fully implemented, all of us over a certain age may be treating ourselves, because the doctors will be giving us pain pills and making us comfortable until the end comes.

About my cancer meds

OK, 7 years ago, when I went through this the first time, they put me on chemo therapy which consisted of Taxol, Cytoxin and Adrimiacin (not sure of any of those spellings).  One was called the red devil because it was red, and got "pushed."  This means while you were getting saline solution they push a syringe of the red devil into another access on the tubing.

I also got Herceptin, considered adjuvant therapy, for 2 treatments less than a year.

This time around, since the Taxol apparently didn't get rid of it, they did Taxitere for the chemo therapy along with Zometa (calcium suppressor) and the Herceptin.  They have always given Benidryl with my Herceptin, but after a while on it I suggested we try it without the Benidryl, since I hadn't had a reaction.  Besides the Benidryl is the reason I feel bad, or at least mostly.  But after a few times, I got an all over body itch, so we had to go back on it.  Then I had the thick tongue feeling.  So I decided to cut myself off the Herceptin.  I had been taking it from mid January, 2011 until mid June, 2012, so close to a year and a half.  So far it hasn't interfered with heart function, which is why I had to quit last time.  But, how can something with so many side effects help?  There has to be a better option.

I'm now 2 weeks (maybe slightly more, as Tuesday would be time for my next treatment) off schedule for taking the Herceptin.  I've noticed an increase in my sex drive (which my husband appreciates).  I had stopped sweating before being put back on Herceptin, even living in Texas.  I'm still sweating, but I suppose that's good.  After just 2-1/2 weeks off schedule, I think the night sweats have stopped.  I was basically post menopausal, or at least not having "monthly visits" since April, 2005.  The problem is, my back (the osteoarthritis part) had quit hurting until I got the Zometa shot.  Now I'm in excruciating pain again.  One of the side effects of Zometa is joint pain.  The spot of cancer doesn't hurt, just the "degeneration" on my upper back

I see my oncologist on July 3rd, but I may see if we can stop the Zometa, too.  There comes a point where I have to consider quality of life, over longivity.  What difference does it make if I can eek out a couple more years, but it's spent feeling like crap and in pain?  I'd rather have the energy to do things with my children.  I also get a shot (hormone blocker that I forget the name of...starts with an F) on Tuesday.  We'll see if I feel like crap after that one.

My diet hasn't altered dramatically so far.  I try to eat an apple a day, seeds and all.  If I don't eat the apple, I'll eat a few apricot kernels (the book said don't eat more kernels than you could whole fruit in a sitting, so about 4-5).  I feel like my immunity is up, but who can tell, right?  I'm trying to include green tea instead of coffee during the day.  I like green tea with a little honey.  I'm also trying to cut back on heavily processed foods, and include breakfast.

It's really hard for me to eat breakfast.  I get up at about 4:45 AM to make my husband coffee and bring it to him.  And before some women's libber calls my husband a slave driver, it's something I choose to do.  He can't carry anything being still on crutches, and we like French Press.  He doesn't know how to make it (OK, he SAYS he doesn't know how to make it), so if he did make coffee, it would be drip.  But, I can't eat that early, and prefer not to eat until time to take my meds, around 7-8:00 AM.  I've been trying to eat a piece of fruit with my first cup of coffee, and then fix oatmeal or some other cereal (buckwheat, or even boiled rice) later.  I've been trying to eat lentils with either rice or noodles for lunch.  That alone increases my B17 intake.

I'm also eating more fresh veggies.  We have the cucumbers from our garden, as well as zucchini and green beans, though I'm getting tired of the last two.  I'm really eying that single canteloupe, waiting for it to ripen.  I've also been buying more watermelon, and making relish with the rind.  At least we'll have watermelon rind relish if the appocolypse comes.

Now it's a waiting game, to see how the hormone blocker shot effects me, and to see my doctor and discuss alternatives with him.

Food For Thought

I have already written my opinion on why the FDA won't approve research on or support the claim that there has been a cure for cancer found in a food.  It wouldn't be advantageous for the big Pharaceutical companies, or the medical community.

Well, I was trained in the Navy to see patterns and trends.  It just sometimes takes me a while.  I've been doing research into Monsanto, and a light bulb went off.  Maybe the two are connected.  I know this sounds like conspiracy theory, but stay with me for a moment.  I'll try to make it short.

I received a story from a fellow blogger of mine about farmers having to sign agreements that they won't save seed from GMO crops (Genetically Modified Organism, I think, can't remember what the O stands for).  Basically it's because they (Monsanto) have played with the genetic make up of the seed until it's no longer like the original.  They are able to copyright it, because they "created" it.  It becomes their intellectual property, because they've put the money of research into it.  Most crops that are genetically modified are done so for specific reasons.  They modified soy beans to be resistant to Round Up (which they can do because they also own Round Up, so they know the chemical makeup).  They have modified other vegetables and fruits to have a longer shelf life.

Now, if you put these two ideas together, somewhere there could be someone working on research to genetically modify foods to better fight cancer.  Once they modify it, they can copyright it. 

They have already forced milk companies that don't use hormones and antibiotics to not put on that they don't.  Now, milk says the FDA has determined there's no difference in the two milks.  They have already outlawed (made it illegal) to sell raw apricot kernels (and almonds, I understand) IN the United States.

If you control the food supply, you control the people.  What if they could get all foods that contain B17 genetically modified and under their control, they would control the only natural cure for cancer.  All they have to do is come out and say that the research is valad afterall, and then raise the price of the seeds.  Remember, farmers can't hold over any seeds to plant next year, so they have to buy all the seeds they need every year.    If the seeds go up in price, then naturally the fruit that's harvested will be more expensive. 

For a cure of anything to be possible in a guided demoracy is for the government to own it.

Update on Diet

I'm still only increasing my intake of millet, lentils and trying to remember to eat the apricot kernels.  I made "flat bread" but it turned out more like a pancake.  Next time I might try to not put in baking powder so it doesn't rise.  What I was hoping for was something more like a tortilla or crepe.  Maybe I should just make the batter thinner. The recipe called for it to be like pancake batter, and I had to double the liquid amount to reach that point.

I've been having lentils in my noodles.  I usually take a quarter cup dried lentils in boiling water to cover and then drain.  I don't usually spice them.  I've also heard that brown rice is good for you, so I started having brown Basmati rice for breakfast.  Not bad.  I might have to find some ways to dress it up a bit.

I have an appointment today where I'm supposed to get my Herceptin and Zometa.  The last time I got Herceptin (and Benidryl in a pill form) by the time I walked out (after the infusion) my speech was slurred.  I felt like my tongue was thick.  They have decided it was an allergic reaction to the Herceptin, and want to give me drip Benidryl.  You know what?  I'm going to listen to my body and consider it poison.  I'm going to tell them that since I almost went into anaphylactic shock with the last treatment, I'm not taking anymore Herceptin.  I'll take the shot hormone blocker and the Zometa (calcium blocker) but no more Herceptin.  Last time I only lasted about 10 months (it's hard to keep track because the time was split in half).  I remember my oncologist telling me he was stopping something like 3 treatments early because it was causing heart problems.  How can something that causes heart problems be good for me?  It's like chemo...shooting a cockroach with a shotgun and hoping you kill it. 

I haven't gotten my book yet, but hopefully that will come today and I can bring it with me to the doctor's appointment to start reading.  If I only get the Zometa, the infusion will only last 30 minutes instead of an hour.  But then there's the lab work and waiting for the results of the lab work, then waiting to get hooked up.  I'm not sure if I'm scheduled for the shot or not.

I've put this off a whole week (actually a bit over, but a week would be from the last one).  I think I used allergies as an excuse because I'm really afraid to get the Herceptin again, since my allergic reactions are escalating.  I had started out realizing it was the Benidryl that made me feel so bad, so I stopped taking it.  Then I got a treatment that caused me to itch all over when I got home.  So we started with the Benidryl again.  I'm afraid it will escalate even more and I don't want them breaking out the Epi-pen, or having to take me to the ER right next door that doesn't take my insurance (if they would have to admit me).  That would be ALL I need, having to pay off a hospital stay on payments because my health insurance (Tricare Prime) isn't accepted by that hospital.

We shall see how things go today when I tell them I'm making an informed decision to not take Herceptin any longer.  I'm not scheduled to see the doctor until July 3rd.

Getting FDA Approval

OK, first I have to admit I am totally ignorant of this process, so I had to look it up online.  I don't always trust everything I read, but this sounds about right.  I actually believe it's harder than this, as a disclaimer.  This is from an eHow article.

"The pre-clinical phase is the "discovery" part of the approval process and consists of three and a half years of testing in the lab. After this time has passed, an application is sent to the FDA to begin human testing. This is called an Investigational New Drug Application. The FDA will rarely grant "Fast Track Designation" to certain companies who demonstrate that their drug or biologic compound clearly addresses an unmet medical issue. All other drugs go on to the regular human trial process."

Let's put this in terms of feasibility.  If you find a cure for cancer, and determine that it's a vitamin deficiency, you have to test a FOOD (that's not able to be copy righted and is free to everyone) for 3 and a half years.  That means you better either have government support or very wealthy backers.  Who is going to give you money for research when there is no chance of a return monetarily?  There is no drug to copy right and have exclusive rights to, it's natural and you can run down to the super market and get it.

"If the FDA approves the Investigational New Drug Application, then the drug moves into Phase 1 clinical trials, where 20-80 human subjects are tested. Researchers will look at how the drug affects the human subjects, what the side effects are, and how safe the drug is. Phase I trials usually last around 1 year."

So, now you have invested 4 and a half years into a cure that you can't get any money from.  I wonder why such researches write books and don't give this information out for free?  Maybe they're not independently wealthy?  Besides, the only people willing to do such trials would be people who are using this as a last resort.  In the case of cancer, it's probably people who have been told they have a limited time left so they turn to alternatives.  It's like the author of the book said, someone can be shot, have the bullet removed and still die from the damage done.

"If the Phase I results are efficacious, then the drug moves on to Phase II. During Phase II, a larger number of human subjects (100-300) is tested to see how well the drug actually works. Researchers will again look at the drug's safety profile and also what the benefits are. Phase II trials normally last around 2 years."

So, if a good number of patients weren't too far along to save, and actually do well with changing their diet (again, it's food we're talking about so it can't be copy righted), then the researcher has to put in 2 more years (we're up to 6 and a half years now) and get even more people to do this (according to the medical community) hokey cure.  I think at this point, they'll probably say that the benefits don't outweigh the profit margin, because it's a FOOD and diet change.

"If a drug is proven to be safe and efficacious, then it will move along to the largest of the clinical trials in Phase III, where 1000-3000 patients are tested. During this phase, researchers take a closer look at the safety and effectiveness. They also review the "contraindications," or situations in which taking the drug would be dangerous to the person's health. Phase 3 normally takes 3 years and is the most comprehensive and stringent of the 3 phases."

So, now we're up to 9 and a half years.  Who can hang around that long with no funding?  Unless he's doing the research totally by himself/herself without hiring assistants, they can't afford to.  And now they have to get 1,000 to 3,000 people to participate?  I think it would hard enough to find 80 people who were willing to throw away conventional medicine and change their diet.  That's a big risk when we've been told all our lives to trust our doctors.  If they do it along side conventional medicine, it is only poisoning the system and would not get accurate results.

"If the drug passes Phase III as safe and effective, then a New Drug Application is filed with the FDA, which can take over 2 years to review. This application details all previous clinical trials and can be tens of thousands of pages long."

So, with the review, we're up to 11 and a half years.  And this application won't write itself, and it's tens of thousands of pages long?  I know how much paper costs, as well as the ink cartridges.  So now they're also investing money into something that will not produce a return.  I'm beginning to see why the medical community and the pharmaceutical companies don't want a FOOD to be proven as a cure for cancer.  All the money they put into research to push their cancer drugs would evaporate if someone could run down to the local grocery store and change their diet.  Maybe that IS why they outlawed the sale of raw apricot kernels.

"Once the FDA reviews the New Drug Application and approves it, the drug is officially approved and can begin to be marketed to the general population."

So after a minimum of 11 and a half years, the researcher gets permission to tell everyone that a food (suppose it was B17) will cure cancer.  He writes a book releasing that information.  People would stop getting the expensive chemo therapy drugs, costing the big pharma lots of money.  They would also cut down on trips to the doctor, as they would only need monthly visits for a follow up.  According to Obamacare, follow ups are supposed to be free.  That means the doctor loses money now.  The surgeon loses money as the tumor goes away and he doesn't have to do surgery.  All the staff in the hospital that would have been needed lose money.  It's all about the money.

First Day of New Cancer Diet

So, how do I feel?  Well, last night I felt a bit bad.  I can't tell if it was the increased foods with B17 or not.  I'm just getting over a cold that lasted 15 days.  I'm so tired of a lowered immune system. 

I had increased my intake of lentils and added apricot kernels.  I think I need to draw back a bit on the apricot kernels.  I haven't gotten my World Without Cancer book yet, but I do know that the author said not to eat more kernels in a sitting than you would whole apricots.  I've been eating a handful, so I guess I need to dial it back to about 5-7.  I can easily eat 6 dried apricots in a sitting.  I seem to get a slight headache right afterwards, but then feel fantastic. 

Yesterday, I ate an apple for breakfast, including most of the core and the 3 seeds that were in it.  For lunch I had noodles and Italian dressing and about a quarter cup lentils (before cooking).  Then for supper I ate zucchini with the seeds.  It was cooked, though so the seeds weren't as beneficial.

I have had benign cysts in my left temporal region (of my brain) for at least 7 years.  I also have a seizure disorder and migraines.  So I don't know which caused the headaches.  Also, if I get less coffee than my normal, I'll get a headache.  I only had one cup yesterday, compared to my normal 2-1/2 to 3.  But, we'll err on the side of caution and dial it back a little. 

My back (where the cancer is) hurts less this morning.  I have the cancer at about the bra strap area, but osteoarthritis at the neck and lower back.  It hurts about the same.  I want off the calcium suppressors because I'm almost 50.  I need the calcium for my bones.  At least that's what the medical community keeps telling me.

This will be a short update, because I need to get ready for church.